First Flower ver. 2

Standard

sunlight rouses
the sleeping daffodil-
new picnic basket

As promised here is my revision. Here I focused on the effect of the sunlight. I am still not happy with it yet and tomorrow will hopefully yield a better one.

Check out Haiku Tips #2 for ideas on editing.

Read Version 1

5 responses »

  1. Pingback: Haiku? I Can’t! « Win Lose or Draw

  2. Pingback: First Flower ver. 3 « FierceBuddhist

  3. Pingback: First Flower ver. 4 « FierceBuddhist

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