In my readings I just noticed something profound and important in composing poetry, especially Haiku.
What I am speaking of is “sensory perception” order. I noticed that in some of my weaker works I had not paid attention to the order of perception. I think I did this to create a sense of surprise but in doing so I set up an unnatural feeling.
For example when I first met my wife saw her from afar and noticed her confident walk. As she approached I then saw, in detail, her attire. It was not until we were in close proximity that I picked up the scent of her perfume.
So if I wrote a haiku and started with the perfume then moved backwards in describing the moment the poem would feel stilted and odd.
As I continue to write I will make sure to follow this observation and now that I am aware of this rule I can now break it.
Hope this helps in your writings.
To became aware of a rule only to break it! A man after my own heart. 😆 But however did you survive the military?
Ben,
Some where I read a story where a person wrote a letter to ee cummins and said the like him they too avoided the rules of grammar. It is said that he wrote back “before you can break the rules you must first learn them”
I heard/read this early in life and came to understand that once you have learned the rules you can then work within the boundaries, and perhaps slightly outside, to make them work for you.
Let me illustrate. After I was injured my commander wanted me to leave the military on a medical discharge as I could no longer function in my duties. I knew that if I served my full time and got out with honorable discharge but showing I had a disability it would be to my advantage. So, I went and tested for a easier job, passed the test, went around base to find where I could transfer, talked to the commander there and asked him to request me to be assigned to his unit. This was done in less than a month and happened so fast my old commander had no idea what happened but since the orders came for a higher officer he could not refuse.
I hope this little example illustrates how to use the rules to your advantage. But, first one must know them. 🙂
And this is one of the ways I survived the Army. 🙂
Hey, that was really just a rhetorical question, 😀 But thanks for the interesting anecdote. I did similar things all my life, so I think I can relate.
Good observation. I’ll try to keep these things in mind and weigh them as I write. 😉
Perception, and be care with pronouns we, you, and I. It easy to confuse a reader with mixed pronouns.
Good point. Lol. Made me double check. 🙂
I’ve learned something new already! I was not aware of this rule…which I have no doubt broken unawares and will probably do so again even in the knowing! I really need to study the haiku form more…
I am glad that this was helpful. It is always a learning process. I will try and share interesting tidbits here as I glean them. I highly suggest Haiku “A Poets Guide” by Lee Gurga. It is an excellent resource.
Thank you! I’ll look for it and give it a read. 🙂
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