A Buddhist Marriage; a partnership in Dharma


In my Buddhist studies, I have been wondering about being with my wife in future existences as it took me so long in this one to find her. The Buddha discussed this in the Pancavudha pyo Sutta.

At the time of the Buddha there lived a wealthy man, Nakulapita and his wife, Nakulamata. They had been together for many existences. They had become Sotápanna Ariya (stream-winners) since they first pay homage to the Buddha. This couple had been the parents, or elder uncle and aunt of the Bodhisattva in many previous existences. They were very fond of the Buddha like their own son and were granted privilege of asking any
question. Once the wealthy man said, “Venerable Sir, I took Nakulamata as my wife since my youth, since then I hadn’t even thought of infidelity, let alone actually being so. I had always wanted to be in the presence of Nakulamata in the present life and I always want to be so through out the samsara.”

On hearing the words of Nakulapita, his wife also said frankly, “Venerable Sir, I came with him to his house since my youth. Since then I hadn’t thought of anyone. I had always wanted to be with him in the present life; and I always to be with him through out the samsara.”

The Buddha said, “If man and wife, who are leading a harmonious life, wish to be together in the next existences, they should have the same faith (saddha), the same morality (síla), the same liberality (caga) and the same level of knowledge (paññá).”
“As the husband has pure morality, just so she should have. If one of them wishes to give charity, the other must comply. If she donates, he encouraged her. If he donates, she should be delighted. Their wisdom and knowledge must be the same too.

For further clarification, the passage from Pancavudha pyo is translated as follows:

“In the human abode, if husband and wife are in harmony and willing to be together; if they have the same liberality, morality, faith and confidence, they will be together in samsara like glorious Devas and Devis who are together in the heavenly abodes all along the cycle of rebirths.”

I find the prospects to be pleasant. Either we reach Nirvana or we spend many lives together seeking Nirvana.

About fiercebuddhist

Welcome. I am happy that our paths have crossed. Here you will find various poems, articles and photography. I hope that you enjoy them and visit often. I am currently working on writing “A Haiku A Day” so that I can, perhaps, have enough good ones for publication. If you are wondering what a “Fierce Buddhist” the following declaration should clarify. The “Fierce” in FierceBuddhist I define as “an obligation to do what I can to benefit all sentient beings, not just those close to me or those I agree with. If I see something or someone that is hurting others I must step forward and do what I can to assist them.” In the Army and in the dojo I learned how to defend myself, family and country but that does not mean I endorse the use of force. Two nonviolent examples of Fierce Buddhists that come to mind are Thich Nhat Hanh and the Dalai Lama. While I do not claim be even close to them I can strive and so can you. Furthermore, my Buddhist name, given to me by Sensei Kubose, is Seiyo. His interpretation of my communication and interaction with him led him to this name. He told me Seiyo means “Fierce Sun.” The sun shines on everyone without prejudices without giving preferential treatment to anyone. This is tough to live up to, as you can imagine, but it sure sets the tone for my life. In Buddhism this is called a Fierce Bodhisattva. I am only on the path to Enlightenment and can only say to be a Fierce Buddhist.

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